Teaching Your Children With Toys

One of the best things about kids playing is when they are able to learn something at the same time. It is easy to teach your kids with toys when you find something that they think is fun but they get something from it at the same time. For example, when they are little and you are trying to promote good hand eye coordination, you may want to get a toy that they need to move things around and put in a certain spot. Or perhaps you are looking to teach shapes and you can find them as well such as blocks.

Once they become toddlers, you are going to want for them to start learning things such as going to the potty, cleaning up their toys and dressing themselves. You are going to find books that you can read to them that will help with this. Being able to teach your kids with toys on how to do these things is great because they are going to think that cleaning up their toys is a fun thing to do. You will find toys that help in all of these areas to make it fun for them.

Such as, there are dolls that you can get that will show them how to put on their clothes and get dressed all by themselves. They can learn how to button a shirt put on their pants and even tie their own shoes. It is so exciting when you can teach your kids with toys because they are learning the things that you want them to and they are not putting up a fuss because they think that you are getting them to do something that they think is work. It is great to make it fun to do stuff.

Of course once they get older and they are in school, you could always look into things such as flash cards and make a game out of them. It is always interesting when you can make a learning experience fun instead of it feeling as though it is work. When you find that special thing that you child likes the most, you are going to find that being able to teach your kids with toys was a great invention since it will make your life easier in the long run. They will have a great time as well.

If you are not sure just what you should buy, you can always do a little research on the internet and you are going to find a lot of different things. It is important to teach your kids with toys that will stretch their imagination, peak their curiosity and develop their creativity. With puzzles, games, dolls and crafts, you are going to find that the possibilities are endless in the ways that you can make learning fun for your children. There are toys that can work on their motor skills or even help to enhance them at school such as toys that are for science.

Ten easy ways for you and your children to make the world a better place

It can be difficult, as a family, not to become swept up in consumer culture. Millions of Americans are in debt, and many of us have lost touch with our communities, as well as experiencing a loss of perspective about our privileged lifestyle. It is a benefit to ourselves, our children and society at large to think of ways that we can participate in our world to make it a better place.

1. Volunteer to mentor a refugee family. Many cities have refugee assistance programs that you can sign up with. Tell the agency that you would like to volunteer with your children, and they can match you with a family that also has children. Your children get the benefit of learning about other cultures and lifestyles, as well as a different perspective on their own lives. After working with refugees, children are less likely to whine about not having the “right” clothes, etc. Although these things may still be important, they will no longer hold the place that they once did in the children’s consciousness. Volunteering with your children will also help the refugee family to more easily integrate with their children into our society. It is an enriching experience for all concerned.

2. Participate in community clean-up days. While picking up trash and debris, you and your children will be working to improve the environment while meeting like-minded people. Any chance you have to expose your children to other families who share the same values is an opportunity worth taking.

3. As a family, examine what you buy and the impact that it makes on the earth. Learn about the companies that you buy from as well, and how they treat their workers. This becomes a valuable social studies lesson, and raises everyone’s consciousness about the world we live in. The next time you go shopping with your kids, discuss whether or not you really need the object, and if it worth the cost to the family and to the environment, and if it is in alignment with the family’s values. This also applies to eating out at fast food chains as well.

4. Take a family vacation where you volunteer to help build a house in Central America, or assist in an environmental clean-up. Your children will get to see how people in other cultures live, and have the satisfaction that comes from helping others.

5. Choose not to eat meat and animal products that come from factory farming. Instead, take your children to the local farmer’s market and buy free-range meat and dairy products as well as organically grown vegetables.

6. Recycle together. Teach your children which materials can be recycled, and what happens to them after they arrive at the recycling center.

7. Be a good neighbor. When a neighbor is ill, or someone new moves to the neighborhood, participate in the traditional practice of bringing over a homemade dinner and introducing yourselves. You help to build community this way. Additionally, you and your children can participate in your neighborhood watch program, or your neighborhood association, both of which often hold meetings and events. It is a great way to get to know people and to participate in making your neighborhood a safer place to live.

8. Buy some cookies and put them into bags to store in your car. When you are driving around with the children doing errands and see a homeless person, give anyone who is soliciting money some cookies. This provides an excellent model for your children about how we should treat all people as human beings deserving of eye contact and conversation. Of course you will want to reinforce that children are not to talk to strangers, but add that it is okay if Mommy or Daddy is present. If you feel comfortable giving money or something else, by all means do so. The important thing is that your children learn to respect all of humanity.

9. Teach your children to write thank you notes. This is fast becoming a lost art, and is a social skill that will help your children become successful in their dealings with others in life. It is always good to teach an attitude of thankfulness. Talk about how good it makes the person who gave the gift feel to receive a handwritten, personalized note.

10. Walk places together. Not only will you use less gas, thus making it easier on the environment, but also you’ll become more familiar with your neighborhood and the individuals in it. You will have more time to spend with your child talking, and children have a way of making you notice things such as perfect spider webs and so on, that you might otherwise overlook. You are also teaching them that driving is not the solution to every trip in the neighborhood, thus modeling conservation.

Each family has different values and may feel comfortable doing some of these things, but not others. This is simply a list of ideas to get you started. What can you and your children do to make your world a better, kinder, safer place?

A biting toddler (Why do they do it?)

Biting is as normal to toddler

-hood as self-inflicted haircuts are top reschoolers. Parents who don’t experience this milestone with their child can consider themselves lucky. This doesn’t, however, do much to ease the fear of a parent whose child is biting others.

By looking into the life of the toddler, the causes and methods of discipline for dealing with a biter become clear.

Toddlers are Curious:

Observe the typical toddler and you will quickly discover the way in which they explore their world. They touch, smell, observe, manipulate, and taste. They’ve learned that their actions cause others to react. Some toddlers bite to see what reaction they receive. How does the child they bite react? How do the adults feel about it?

Toddlers are Emotional:

We’ve all heard of the Terrible Twos. Children

at this age experience a great deal of emotions – happiness, sadness, fear, and anger are very common, and yet hard to explain or control. Two-year-olds throw themselves on the floor, kicking and screaming for no apparent reason. They sob uncontrollably when their favorite bedtime blanket or stuffed animal has gone missing. If someone takes a toy from them, or they want what someone else has, they get angry.

Toddlers Have a Limited Vocabulary:

Conversing with a toddler is a difficult task. They have acquired many new words; yet in many cases don’t quite know how to put their thoughts together in a way that adults, or even they, understand. There are still many things in the world that don’t have names, including expressions of desires, needs, and emotions.

Toddlers Crave Attention:

They may not be as demanding of our time as they were as infants, but toddlers still require a great deal of time, attention, and affirmation from parents. Often times if a child feels as though he isn’t receiving the attention desired, and observes that he is given attention when in trouble, he will settle for that. As soon as this child discovers biting, and the quick attention it brings, the behavior is likely to continue.

So, what is a parent or other caregiver to do when a child bites? First reactions are crucial. Don’t over-react. Chances are the injured child will be fine, and live to play another day. Go to the children, turning your focus to the bitee rather than the biter. Comfort the crying child first. Show the child who bit what their action caused, and explain that it hurt. Most importantly, remain calm. By doing so you are explaining to the biter what their action caused –pain. You are also showing them that hurting others will not provide them special attention.

If a child becomes a frequent or habitual biter, a bit of careful investigation is in order. The child should be observed, identifying the triggers for biting, and hopefully interceding before the bite occurs. What takes place before the bite? Is the child angry? Bored? Tired? Overwhelmed?

Consider what it is like to be a toddler; full of emotions, curiosity, desire for attention – and lacking a way to effectively communicate that. Give the child words for their emotions: “You wanted the doll Julie was playing with, didn’t you? When she wouldn’t give it to you, you wanted to bite her. I feel like that when I’m mad. Were you mad, Sarah?”

Provide them alternative behaviors: “When I get mad like that, it sometimes makes me feel better to just tell someone I’m mad.” Or “When you get mad like that, and feel like you have to bite, try biting something you can’t hurt.” And then give them something else to bite, like a scarf or small towel.

If they are bored, redirect them to another activity: “Sarah, you look like you aren’t having any fun. Would you like it if I helped you find something else to do?” This not only gives them words for their feelings, it also helps them learn to find solutions to their predicaments on their own.

If the child is seeking attention, afford them the attention when they are behaving in ways we desire, so they will strive for that attention rather than negative attention. When you see them playing nicely with others, praise the behavior: “Wow, Sarah! You and Jacob are doing a very good job taking turns pushing the truck.”

Remember, while they have an extensive vocabulary, some words lack meaning. "Be good" has very little meaning. Tell them what you want, and what you don’t in simple, specific language.

Toddlers that bite aren’t bad children. Rarely are they overly aggressive or mean. They are simply acting out an emotion, or reacting to a situation in the only way they know how. With careful attention, a bit of creativity, consistency, and patience, this stage can be overcome.

Is Your Child A Picky Eater?

We’ve all been there, caught up in that all-too-common mealtime saga: dealing with the picky eater. We argue, we reason, we bribe, we threaten, and still we are faced with a defiant glare or a tear-streamed face. Eating is not supposed to be like this. We try to cook good food for our children, but they just won’t eat. They don’t “like” it. What are we supposed to do?

First of all, the most important thing to do when dealing with a child who is a picky eater is not to turn the issue into a power struggle: parent vs. child. There’s no point saying, “You’ll sit there until every bit of food on that plate is finished,” because you may find your youngster staring defiantly at the plate an hour later. As well, these types of strategies breed resentment, and often lead to a child’s developing psychological issues about food.

However, there are some strategies for dealing with a picky eater that leave everyone’s dignity intact and still allow your child to enjoy a well balanced diet.


1. The first thing a parent needs to do is to relax a bit about the issue. Your child is remarkably adept at knowing what he needs and when he is hungry. Provided with healthy choices in food, he likely won’t go too far astray.


2. Never force feed, bribe, or plead with your child to eat. Guilt doesn’t work either. Saying, “There are thousands of starving children in the world, and you should be grateful to have something to eat,” is just not going to register with a young child. Force feeding is really a form of abuse. Stop and think of someone doing that to you. Bribing only teaches a child how to be manipulative. For example, “If you eat all your supper, I’ll take you to the movie.” If you’re not careful, your child could be demanding a new car before too long! Pleading is just downright humiliating for the parent, and for the child, quite amusing as she sees how much control she has over her parents. All of these behaviours teach a child that there are always conditions attached to food, and eating becomes a very negative experience for her.


3. Eat with your child. Plopping your child down at the table with scrambled eggs and toast while you tear around the house getting ready for work is not particularly conducive to your child’s enjoying those eggs. More likely, he is going to focus on the fact that he is alone with no one to talk to. And of course, a great way to get Mom or Dad’s attention is to refuse to eat or complain about what’s on the plate. You and your child need to get into a routine where you get up fifteen minutes earlier to enjoy that first meal of the day together. A pleasant chat while you’re both eating breakfast together is a much nicer way to start the day, and having to get up a little earlier will be worth all those lost tears.


4. If your child is like most children, she needs three meals a day and two snacks in between. Children have smaller stomachs, and they just can’t eat large amounts in one sitting. So serve smaller quantities at meal time, and when your child is hungry mid-morning, offer her a healthy snack, such as fruit, cut up vegetables, or cheese. Be careful to set a limit on the amount and type of snacks you offer in between meals. Even too many healthy snacks will leave you with a child who comes to the supper table with a full stomach. Be alert to how much liquid your child consumes. Most children require three to four cups of fluid each day, and not too soon before meals. So don’t allow your child to be filling up on fruit juices or she will not have room to eat solid foods.


5. Children don’t have large stomachs, so don’t feed them adult size portions. A child faced with a big plate of food will often feel overwhelmed. Often parents will feed their children from a small plate

filled with food. This still gives the child the illusion of a whole lot of food. One neat trick is to serve your child from a regular size dinner

plate and just give him very small portions in the centre of it. The child registers only a small amount of food and is more likely to eat it. Of course, if he’s hungry and asks for more, that’s great. If not, trust that he’s eaten enough to fill himself at that meal.

6. Make the food as attractive as possible. Kids love colour, and a variety of colourful food on the plate is more likely to stimulate their taste buds. Sandwiches cut in shapes are always a big hit. Meatballs placed on top of the spaghetti in the form of a smiley face are appealing to kids. Use your imagination.

7. Once you have presented your child with her plate, give her the freedom to choose what and how much she is going to eat. A child knows when she is full. Forcing her to clean the plate can make her ill, lead her to develop aversions to particular foods, and possibly contribute to weight problems later on in her life. So, she didn’t eat her peas tonight. Maybe she did eat some of the salad at lunch time. It’s a matter of overall balance, not whether she gets a perfect balance in every meal.

8. Be flexible. If you’re planning to serve spaghetti, and you know your child hates it, consider cooking the elbow macaroni he loves. Same thing, different packaging. Be careful, though, not to get too extreme with this, or you could end up cooking different meals for everyone at the dinner table.

9. Your child just won’t eat vegetables? Well then, give her more fruit. Vegetables are often an acquired taste, so just put two pieces of carrot on her plate, and don’t make a scene if she doesn’t eat them. Next time you serve carrots, do the same thing. Eventually your child will start to eat a few vegetables. Keep in mind that if your child will not eat any fruit and vegetables, then you should check with your doctor. Nutritional supplements might be necessary for a period of time.

10. If your child absolutely can’t stand what is being served at a particular mealtime, then have one alternative that you regularly offer. For example, he won’t eat the meatloaf, potatoes, and carrots. Then he gets a tuna sandwich that you know he will eat. He won’t eat the vegetable-beef soup at lunchtime, then he gets a bowl of cereal. At times you may feel like your child is eating nothing but tuna sandwiches and cereal, but if you follow the above tips, these incidents will occur less and less frequently.

Feeding a picky eater does not have to be a never ending battle. Respect a child’s tastes and ability to gauge how much she needs to feel comfortably full. Don’t make mealtime an event where there has to be a winner and a loser. And remember, one bad day is not enough to declare a disaster. Look at the balance of foods your child has been eating over the past week, and you’ll likely discover that things are better than you thought.

Good Toddler Games And Toys

When your child is one, two or three years of age, everything is a game for them! Life is fun. It’s neat to explore and be curious about how things work, and they enjoy playing with you.


When you’re looking for good toys for your toddler

, the first thing you should be concerned with is safety. You want to make sure the toys don’t have any sharp edges, loose or small parts. Children at this age are known to put everything and anything in their mouths--especially their toys. You want to look for these things, especially make sure that the stuffing is all in any stuffed toys and to make sure all plastic parts are secure to toys.


You also want to avoid any toys that are made of glass or that may contain toxic substances. These toys can be dangerous for your son or daughter. In addition, any toys that are overly heavy can be easily dropped on feet and can really hurt!


The games you play with your toddler should all include fun and encourage curiosity and creativity. Don’t be so obsessed with learning. By the time your child turns two years old, some good games include ones that are a bit more physical... like running around, racing, playing catch, building things with blocks, and riding toys

.


Some other good toys for toddlers

of this age include some various gymnastics-type toys. Perhaps get a balance-beam type toy for your child to practice balance, or a pull toy that makes a lot of noise (those are always lots of fun!).


As your toddler progresses, you’ll want to start some activities that involve arts and crafts

such asfinger painting, coloring, and art sculpting (perhaps with playdough). Then they’ll start learning music, and you can teach your child different songs and singing games. And of course a very good game for toddlers is to play make believe. Help your child develop stories in their own minds!

Games Babies And Toddlers Can Enjoy

Sure you know how to play patty cake and the itsy, bitsy, spider but here are some other great games to play with your infant or toddler

.

--Make puppets out of brown paper bags and put on a puppet show for them.

--Show them how to make a ramp for their cars and trucks and watch them roll.

--Make an alphabet book by cutting out pictures from magazines that represent each letter.

--Blow bubbles and give them a fly swatter to try and hit them with.

--Play "bozo buckets" with balls and buckets. See how many balls they can get into the buckets. Move them farther away as your child gets better at it.

--Fill a big plastic container with water and let them sail their boats and play in the water.

--Make an indoor obstacle course for them to crawl over with pillows blankets, laundry baskets, etc.

--If you're brave, buy some face painting crayons and let them "paint" your face.

--Let them star in their own movie by videotaping them and then playing the tape back to them on your television

.

--Teach them how to stack with margarine tubs, plastic boxes, etc.

--Even young toddlers love to dance: turn on the music and let them rock!! (This is also great for tiring them out).

--Play hide and go seek...they will love to hide and have you find them.

--Give young baby "airplane" rides and watch them squeal.

--Teach your baby how to recognize different textures. Let them play with sand, play dough, etc.

--Build sand castles or let them bury you in the sand.

Fun Games For Babies

Now that you are a new parent you’ve got a veritable sponge of a human being before you just waiting to be entertained and have you teach him all sorts of new and exciting things. Well, how do you do that? If the mere thought of this terrifies you, relax. You will never have a more appreciative audience than your baby and he will never heckle you or make you feel idiotic. Babies learn largely through play and by watching others do things. They learn to talk by being talked to and learn to play by being played with. If you are afraid you will look silly or don’t know what to do, here are some games you can play with your baby that will get you started on your way to a wonderful play partnership.

Peek-a-boo is not only a game, it is a tool for teaching babies that when you go away, you will come back. Start out using a cloth diaper or small receiving blanket. Put the cloth over your head while sitting in front of the baby and say, “where’s mommy?” Pull the cloth away and say PEEK-A-BOO! After you demonstrate this to your baby a few times, put the cloth over baby’s head and say, “where’s baby?” You’re bound to get giggles even with the tiniest baby and most baby’s are able to pull the cloth away on their own from the very beginning.

Patty-cake is a time-honored classic game for babies. You can either demonstrate the game to your baby or take the baby’s hands and help him do the clapping himself. Although there are variances to the rhyme depending on where you are from, the basic rhyme goes like this:

Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker’s man (Clap to the beat of the words)

Bake us a cake as fast as you can

Roll it and pick it and mark it with a B

Throw it in the oven for baby and me! (Throw baby’s arms up in the air)

I still remember the horseback riding game from when I was a child and it is a fun game for babies who love to bounce. Put the baby on your knees and hold his hands, while bouncing the baby on your knees sing to the tune of “Here we go ‘round the mulberry bush”:

(Bouncing gently)

This is the way the gentleman rides, gentleman rides, gentleman rides,

This is the way the gentleman rides, so early in the morning.

(Bouncing a little higher)

This is the way the lady rides, lady rides, lady rides,

This is the way the lady rides, so early in the morning.

(Bouncing harder and swaying back and forth)

This is the way the farmer rides, farmer rides, farmer rides,

This is the way the farmer rides, so early in the morning.

(Bouncing fast and crazily, but not too hard!)

This is the way that baby rides, baby rides, baby rides,

This is the way that baby rides, so early in the morning.

A fun tickling game for babies is to start at the baby’s feet and while walking your fingers up the baby’s body to his armpit, say, “there’s a mousie under the barn and it’s gonna get baby under the arm!”

Your baby will most likely be the author of many new games once you get him started, so be ready for hours of his own brand of fun. Don’t be afraid to make up your own games and just enjoy being with your baby.

Preparing Your Child For Nursery School

You should start preparing your child for school as early as you can. You want your child to be well prepared, so she can handle the transition easily. Many times children who aren’t used to the school or being away from their parents, aren’t as ready for the challenges of school as other kids are.

In the months leading up to when you’ll need to make the decision about whether to enroll your child into kindergarten, you’ll want to take certain steps to start figuring out whether you’re child is ready for such a change. Life is full of new experiences for youngsters, so to a certain degree you need to be aware that sometimes the best way to find out how ready your child is for the nursery school learning experience is to simply enroll her in school and see how she does.

One of the best things you can do is to take your child to the school in the early summer months before the fall when your child will start school. Introduce your child to the school and tell her what goes on in the building and what to expect. Walk into the classroom if you can. This may build excitement about the situation for your child.

Introduce your child to her teacher, if you can. Let your son or daughter realize that you and her teacher will get along great... and that the teacher is a good person. Help your child feel more comfortable around the teacher.

Talk with your child about her concerns about going to school. Tell her about what it was like when you started nursery school and about how afraid you were. But help her understand what school will be like as much as you can. Be open. Don’t discourage your child from telling you how she feels about school.

You’ll perhaps want your child to spend more and more time away from the home and away from you. Perhaps this means letting your child play with your neighbour’s kids for a couple hours in an afternoon, or stay with grandparents or aunts and uncles for awhile. This is an opportunity for your children to communicate with people other than you and for them to get used to being away from home. This can relieve the separation anxiety that sometimes happens to children when they first go to school.

Once your child is in kindergarten, it’s your job as a parent to help her learn. Don’t rely solely on your child’s teachers to do all the work. Help your child with her homework with her about what she is learning. Continue the educational process at home.

Kindergarten can be a trying time for kids. It’s something they’ve never experienced before, and at such a young age, anything drastically new like kindergarten can be difficult. It can be quite an emotional time. But if you ease the strains of kindergarten and of other times that can be emotionally difficult as early as possible, you’ll all be better off.

Learn To Say No To Your Children

As an average sort of parent, you were probably upset the first time you had to tell your toddler "No" when he did something wrong and now the toddler is older and you still have to use the word "No" and you will as long as he is living at home and perhaps for years.

Being a person is what growing up is all about and when a child expects you to say "Yes" all the time, then it is time to rethink your parenting skills. It is wonderful to say "Yes" to life and the world and also to your child, but we live in a world that requires us to say "No" and also mean what we say. We have to be in charge of our children as we are the parents. If we reverse these roles then we will have major problems.

You surely need to respect a child's push toward autonomy but you will have to find ways to show him that you, too, recognize that he is growing into his own person, with expanding rights and privileges. He can't see that this transition from helpless babyhood to responsible adulthood takes a long, long time and comes gradually, but you can help him to come to this understanding.

If you don't say "No" when you feel it is in the best interests of the child, then it becomes a battle of wills. You will feel that you have not only lost the battle, but the war, because the child will not listen and obey your requests and decisions. You have to realize that you are trying to raise your child to have pride, dignity, and good judgment as you have learned these traits yourself from your parents. To be an adult takes a lot of practice in being a person.

Be consistent, don't ever change rules and/or punishments from day to day. Set limits; have only a few rules and then don't budge an inch from them. Elastic limits lead to insecurity. Make sure the child knows exactly what to expect.

For example if your teenager has a curfew of ten p.m. and you allow him to talk you into extending this curfew to ll p.m. then it becomes a pattern that he will expect to be allowed the later curfew. Sure there will be special occasions such as a school dance, but he still doesn't need to be out any later than you instruct him before leaving your home. Once you give in to him then it will be harder and harder to set your limits and have the standards that you have had in the past.

At times if you give in you will start to feel as though you are losing control and at this point you need to sit down and think about what you are doing and immediately regain control. A child will actually respect authority if it is given with love, confidence and caring and realize the rules are necessary. Sure you will have bad times when he wants to argue with you and request limits be changed or extended and sure there will be exceptions but hold your ground, so to speak, you'll be glad you did. Don't say "Yes", when you want to say "No", then sit and wonder why you changed your limits and standards.

Dealing With Step Children

In the 1970's, America watched as The Brady Bunch homogenized two families into a perfectly blended home, as if nothing in the world was unusual about their circumstances. In half hour sequences, these bell-bottomed step siblings resolved benign disputes of jealousy, bad manners, and mindless pranks as if they were counting on viewers to forget their origins. America bought it, romanticizing their uniqueness.

Today, there is nothing unique about combined families, the numbers having risen dramatically in the last thirty years.Kids with stepparents are often labeled as "his, hers or ours." The rise in combined families has opened our collective eyes to just how fictitious The Brady Bunch truly was. Problems that can be solved in thirty minutes aren't problems at all, and stepmothers are seldom embraced from the beginning as "our mom" by teenage boys. In the beginning, liking each other may very well take a backseat to learning how to overcome power struggles and tolerate each other.

The dynamics of step families differs with each personality. Clashes are inevitable. Most of these conflicts are rooted in insecurity, brought on by uncertainty. Kids coming into a combined family are most often those who have endured either a divorce between their natural parents or the death of a parent. Their emotional senses have been brought to new heights. The foundation they once held as stable and solid is gone, and life is no longer routine.

Stepparents often find themselves the brunt of these kids' frustrations and fears. This is uncharted water for everyone, so the adults end up playing their role without the advantage of experience. Be reassured, you are not alone. Millions of people are desperately trying to find their footing in this new position. Here are a few tips that will help you keep things in perspective:

Don't push. Kids can sense a public relations job a mile away. Let them draw closer at their own pace.

Be yourself. Trying to change yourself to suit every situation will wear you out physically and emotionally, and it offers only temporary solutions, at best.

Be realistic. Life is rarely like a sit-com. Some differences simply are not "fixable," and everyone must learn to make allowances. Identify and respect their boundaries, and expect them to do likewise.

Don't accept manipulation. Yes, even "good" kids are professionals at the art of manipulation.

Don't overreact, but be sure they know you are aware of what's going on.

Depend on spousal cooperation. Together, you and your partner must address the issues, agree on a few simple ground rules, and agree to count on each other for support. Keep those areas where you disagree between yourselves and work on them privately.

Be consistent. Build as much certainty into your family life as possible. Details such as dinner time, bed time, homework checks, etc., help kids adjust much easier. Schedules help to establish stability, a factor that can have a huge influence on behavior and attitude.

There are no secrets for creating the harmonious structure from a '70s sit-com. But, time, communication and mutual respect bring some wonderful and often unexpected rewards to the combined family. You may be surprised to find you've gained a new friend from the experience.